Up for Discussion-Encouraging Empathy

Empathy is the foundation upon which a civilized society is built. It is the one crucial element that is necessary in order for us to treat one another with respect and kindness. Likewise, the absence of empathy is the root problem that causes crimes of all kinds, from petty theft right up to school shootings and the bombing of public buildings.

It is imperative that our young people learn to be empathetic, both for their own good and for the good of society as a whole. Books can help accomplish this.

When we talk about books, we must talk not only about what happens in the story, but we must also discuss how the characters feel and why they behave as they do. As we help readers understand and evaluate what they read, we should also help them identify with the characters. We need to talk about the emotions that the characters have and the feelings that the book generates in its readers. When a character is scared or angry or frustrated, youngsters should have those feelings, too.

Children must learn to imagine themselves in someone else's skin. They need to see how painful it is to lose personal belongings to a thief or to be bullied, and they also need to learn how satisfying it is to help someone who needs assistance. They need to experience empathy.

Stories have always been a teaching tool of the great moral educators because stories are such a natural way to trigger emotions. Stories invite readers into another world; they teach by example.

Books can help undo the damage done to our young people by the violent acts shown in movies and video games because the printed word has a huge advantage—when we read, we become participants and not just spectators. Because we have to develop the images in our own minds, we become the characters in a way that doesn't happen in other mediums. This is what establishes an emotional connection with readers.

Just as social skills become habits through practice and frequent reinforcement, experiencing empathy can become a habit if it happens repeatedly. If, through their reading, children regularly have feelings for others and learn to see another person's perspective, they will be prepared to care about the real people around them. Books can be the bridges that connect students in different social, economic, and/or cultural groups.

I would like to see teachers and librarians talk more about feelings. I've received dozens of letters from children who confide that they have cried when reading one of my books—usually Small Steps (Albert Whitman, 1996), Cages (Minstrel, 1993), Shelter Dogs (Albert Whitman, 1999), or My Brother Made Me Do It (Minstrel, 2000). (My daughter calls these my "three Kleenex books.")

I have also had children tell me that their librarian wept when reading one of them aloud. Such a revelation is nearly always followed by one or more exclamation points as if it were indeed amazing news. Children seem to think that they should control their emotions, and they are astonished at the sight of a librarian shedding tears before her students.

I say, hooray for those librarians! I applaud adults who show students genuine emotion. By being open about their intense feelings, they teach their pupils that it is OK to care deeply about someone else's pain and to cheer another person's success. By example, they teach the most meaningful lesson of all: the need for empathy.

We all begin our lives as self-absorbed beings. Children see the events around them as if in a mirror, relating everything in terms of how they are affected personally. When a child learns to experience empathy, that mirror becomes a window.

I wish every child came from a family in which integrity is expected, education is valued, and each person shows concern for others. Since this is not the case, it becomes, by default, our obligation to help children grow into considerate and responsible adults.

On my desk, I keep a list of qualities that I wish every child had: honesty, loyalty, courage, personal responsibility, compassion, respect for others, integrity, fairness, and the desire for excellence. A sense of humor never hurts either. As I create my main characters, I refer to my list as a way to help me envision people who are worthy of emulation.

We know that children learn by example. They learn to be kind to animals by watching their parents or other respected people being kind to animals. They learn to be loving by being loved. Unfortunately, not every child grows up in a compassionate and nurturing environment. Those youngsters can learn from books. They can learn about courage by reading about characters who are brave. They can learn to be respectful by identifying with characters who respect the rights of others. They can learn to be honest by caring about characters who tell the truth.

While Seattle's new baseball stadium was being built , I often peeked through a hole in the fence that surrounded the construction area. As I looked at steel girders and men in hard hats, I envisioned sunny days and winning teams.

Books are the holes in the fences of life, holes through which children can see other lives, a bigger world, new ideas. When readers connect with a character, they are temporarily freed from their pasts and from worries about their futures. They exist entirely in the moment of the plot, vicariously living a different life until the last page is turned. That freedom from self allows youngsters to embrace emotions and thoughts that they might not have otherwise experienced. It lets them absorb values that may be lacking in their everyday lives.

I try to connect with my readers on two levels . The first is entertainment. A book for children can be beautifully written but if it does not hold their attention, it's going to sit on the shelf.

Entertainment is important, but it is not enough for me. I hope to make an emotional connection with readers that goes beyond enjoyment to a deeper level and touches their feelings.

We need to give young readers what they want, and at the same time give them more. Choose books with some depth, those in which characters wrestle with moral issues, those that help youngsters think about and examine, perhaps for the first time, their own feelings.

I feel an enormous responsibility to create main characters who are worthy of this identification. Young people have so few heroes who deserve the adulation they receive. Do we want our children to have pop singers and actors as their only role models?

Quality books offer a choice.

Many of my books include animals. I've been a volunteer at the Humane Society for more than 25 years and I have passionate feelings about animal-related issues. It is one of my strongest ties with young readers because many of them love animals, too. Their letters ask me about my dog and cat more often than they inquire about my husband and children.

I use animals in my work because it is important for youngsters to learn compassion toward all creatures. When readers identify with characters who care about animals, they learn to act with kindness and compassion not only toward animals, but also toward one another. If we can teach children at a young age to treat animals humanely, we will have taken a huge step toward creating a better world. Compassion for animals leads to empathy for people. A child who feels empathy is unlikely to vandalize property or, worse, commit a violent crime against another person.

I am disturbed when I read children's literature in which the solution to a problem is to kill the bad guy, thus using violence as a cheap substitute for thought. Yes, the hero wins, but can't we show better ways to solve our problems than by resorting to violence? In reality, killing off the villain may solve one immediate problem, but it opens up a host of new difficulties.

My protagonists never fire a gun or stab someone or blow up the bad guy's house. Instead, they save themselves by outsmarting the crooks. They win with their wits, not with their fists.

When characters use problem-solving skills, readers learn that when they have trouble, they too should seek a nonviolent solution. If the first attempt doesn't work (and in a novel, it rarely does), try something else. Keep figuring out new ways to resolve the matter.

If protagonists use their brains to get out of tough situations, they encourage readers to think for themselves. Youngsters who can't think for themselves are easy prey for anyone offering thrills through drugs or a sense of security through gangs. Young people who know how to consider the consequences of their actions and can imagine themselves in someone else's place are not likely to use a shooting spree as a way to get recognition. Our children need to become critical thinkers, and that is one of the results we get when we help them understand and evaluate what they read. This is the most important skill we can teach.

I hope you will help your students identify with the characters in the books they read so that they will learn to see the world from more than one viewpoint. Talk about feelings, and encourage empathy. Go ahead and cry.

Books will not save every child. But as one of the characters in Cages says, "If you can't save the forest, plant a tree." That is what we do every day when we help youngsters read, and think, and grow into people of integrity.

If we plant enough trees, we will save the forest. If we plant enough ideas—and we sow the seeds of empathy—we just might save the world.