SLJ Talks to WiredSafety's Parry Aftab about Cyberbullying

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Joan Oleck -- School Library Journal, 4/16/2008 2:10:00 PM

Cyberbullying is a growing trend—and many kids keep it a secret. In fact, only one in 10 teens who are cyberbullied tell their parents, according to a new National Crime Prevention Council report. SLJ spoke to Parry Aftab, executive director of WiredSafety.org and STOPCyberbullying.org, about her groups' efforts to stop this frightening byproduct of the digital revolution.

What is it that parents and educators don't know about online safety?
Parents are very different from educators. Educators tend to understand kids a lot better. They see what [kids] are doing when their parents aren't around. They see what they're doing to torment each other on a daily basis. So it's not a large leap, when it comes to educators and library media specialists, to understand the kinds of damage kids can do to each other online. [Parents] don't understand their kids' alter egos, they don't understand the technology they're putting into their kids' hands, and the capabilities.

What are your teen and tween "angels" projects?
Our Teenangels are 13- to 18-year-old teen experts. They train in all aspects of Internet safety and then train the industry, other kids, adults. They brief and educate the governmental agencies, as well. Tweenangels [ages 9 to 12] are Teenangels "lite." They don't do as much with training adults as they do with training other kids. They look at technologies tweens use and help us spot the risks so we can brief the industry.  

We have 640 Teenangels and Tweenangels who do speaking engagements at schools, at the classroom level and at the conference level. They've done trainings for up to 1,400 people. They just signed a consulting engagement with Procter & Gamble's BeingGirlUSA site to help educate its users and help define safer technologies.

What's some basic information about cyberbullying?
We're finding that tweens are a hotbed of cyberbullying. Fourth grade is the peak at the younger ages. Then there's another peak as they get into seventh and eighth grade. Kids are doing all kinds of things to hurt themselves and each other. And because kids who are involved in this issue are getting younger and younger, we need to make sure that those who educate them are getting younger and younger.

This is why the "Megan Pledge" came about?
The Megan Pledge was designed by one of my Teen Angel chapters, in New Rochelle, NY, as part of their anti-cyberbullying initiative. They had heard about Megan Meiers, the 13-year-old who took her own life after being harassed online by a mother posing as a cute 16-year-old boy on MySpace.

Why aren’t kids telling their parents if they’re being bullied online?
A lot of kids feel threatened discussing cyberbullying with their parents and are afraid that if adults understand the full scope of the threat, they're going to turn off the technology. [In the Meiers case] kids were very angry about an adult being involved. By putting the adult face of harassment on cyberbullying, [the Pledge organizers] were able to get so many people involved. They want a million people to take the Megan Pledge before the end of 2008. Facebook is on board with the program. So are Xanga, Bebo, AOL, Yahoo.

What does the pledge consist of?
"I promise to 'take five' and not react badly online if something upsets me, and hurt other people. I promise to be part of the solution, not part of the problem. I promise to recognize that suicide is never an option to anything. I promise to help other people being tormented online. I promise to report things when they're serious to an adult who can help."

I read that Virginia had become the first state to mandate Internet safety classes in public schools. Texas and Illinois have both recommended such programs for schools. Where do you see all this going nationally?
I'd like to say things are going to be very different a few years from now, but I fear that they may not be. So the more we educate kids, the better they're going to be. But unless we can put some meaningful education into the hands of parents in a way that makes sense to them—not classes that require them to be MIT specialists, but the kind of training to help them help their children make good choices and help them understand the technology—we're going to be right back where we are [with the introduction of] new technology.

Any parting words about what kids need to know about the dangers from other kids online?
You have to teach kids that there are consequences for what they're doing and saying online. You have to remind them that we can find them. They think they can create a fake Yahoo account and no one will know who they are. They don't realize that the IP address will trace them back to their door…[that] prosecutors are charging teens who have cyberbullied someone else with a crime. We need to teach them to stand up for themselves and not be used by a cyberbully to torment others.