Teen Dating Abuse: Steering Clear of Unhealthy Relationships
Phyllis Levy-Mandell, School Library Journal -- School Library Journal, 5/5/2009
With the recent arrest of popular music star Chris Brown for assault, dating violence has become a topic of conversation in the news and among teens. But what does Rihanna’s reaction to the attack say to teens? Many young victims of physical and emotional abuse are ashamed of what has happened to them, think that the abuse is their fault, and are afraid to report it. They believe that they are alone, and don’t know who or where to turn to for help. Several recently released films will help teachers address this important topic in a classroom setting.
Two programs from "In the Mix," a series made for teens by teens, explore how to recognize dating violence. In Abusive Relationships (castleworks.com, 27 min., 2006), viewers learn that abuse comes in many forms, and often is not immediately recognizable. Diverse male and female teens describe the manipulative behaviors and verbal and physical abuse that they experienced. In the film’s final segments, the young adults answer the questions "How did you get out?" and "Who can help?" Love Shouldn’t Hurt (castleworks.com, 18 min., 2006) was filmed in a school gymnasium and features the Looking Glass Players in three scenarios that point to the warning signs of dating violence and discuss how teens can extricate themselves from unhealthy relationships. After the vignettes, the actors remain in character and respond to questions from the audience.
As these films point out, abuse doesn’t usually happen on a first date and indications that a relationship is turning dangerous may be subtle at first. In Human Relation Media’s Ten Signs of Relationship Abuse (hrmvideo.com, 28 min., 2007), seven young women and one man talk about the psychological, physical, and emotional abuse they endured from their partners. A psychotherapist provides commentary on characteristics of an abusive relationship including jealousy, isolation, threats, and non-consensual sex. A helpful teacher’s resource binder includes pre- and post-tests, fact sheets, and lists of additional resources.
In Dealing with Teen Dating Abuse: Matters of Choice (hrmvideo.com, 18 min., 2005) young actors present a vignette about Megan, a first-year high school student, and her boyfriend Matthew. Within a short time, Matt begins to exert control over Megan, criticizing her, choosing what she wears, isolating her from her friends, and monitoring her activities. Frequent fights and emotional reconciliations lead to a sexual relationship that Megan is unprepared to handle. The story is told from three points of view: Megan’s, Matt’s, and Megan’s close friend’s. The unresolved ending is powerful, and the absence of adult characters or commentators will allow viewers to formulate their own opinions about the questions raised in the film in a facilitated discussion.
Teen Safety: Dating & Relationships (learningzonexpress.com, 19 min., 2008), is a good choice for slightly younger students. The film explores appropriate and inappropriate dating behaviors and features realistic scenarios that provide information about harmful relationships and date rape. The warning signs of an abusive relationship are identified as jealousy, anger, aggression, use of weapons, and manipulation. Narration, vignettes, and interviews with a policewoman and a nurse help teens learn how to protect themselves.
The Family Violence Prevention Fund (FVPF) in conjunction with the National Council of Teachers of English (NCTE) offers Lessons from Literature, a framework for discussing books and short stories that are taught in the classroom. The program aims "to increase awareness about the damaging effects of physical, sexual and verbal abuse," while teaching essential skills and meeting national education standards. Lessons to use with Zora Neale Hurston’s Their Eyes Were Watching God and William Golding’s Lord of the Flies are included, and the framework can be used to create others. The site also offers downloadable pages on "How to Recognize Teen Dating Abuse," and other topics, along with national hotline phone numbers and information on related Web sites.
By incorporating these films and lesson plans into health, guidance, and literary curricula, teachers can begin conversations about abuse, educate teens on how to steer clear of potentially unhealthy relationships, and provide suggestions on where to get help.
