Lesbian Teen Constance McMillen Talks About Her Cancelled Prom
RSSBy Debra Lau Whelan
All Constance McMillen wanted to do was take her girlfriend to the prom. But school officials and parents in Mississippi's Itawamba County School District disapproved-and administrators cancelled the event. Now the school district has agreed to pay $35,000 in damages to McMillen, who was forced to attend a "fake prom" while her classmates went to another event in which she wasn't invited. SLJ spoke to the 18-year-old about her experience, how difficult it was, and what gay and straight teens and adults can learn from it. Did you expect taking your girlfriend to the prom would end up making national headlines? No, I actually just expected for my school to realize that they couldn't do that and change their policy. Were you surprised by the reaction of school officials, parents, and students? I was sort of surprised. I knew how people felt about gay people in my town but I never thought they would be so cruel and discriminate intentionally. I asked if I could take my girlfriend to prom and they said no, so I called the ACLU [American Civil Liberties Union]. And then after the ACLU sent the demand letter, they cancelled prom. Then the court case happened. Who did you turn to for support? There were supportive teachers - very, very few - and my librarian was always kind to me while I was there and was a big comfort when I was upset. I don't know if she supported what I was doing but she looked past it to the person I was and how I felt if she was against it. And I had a few supporters at my school - maybe three. Were you ever scared during this process? Yes, many times. But I knew how important it was that I keep going. I had heard so many horror stories. When all this hit national news it became not only about myself at that point but also other people who had been through similar things. So what message do you think other gay teens will take away from what happened to you? That you may have to go through a lot, but you can change things if you just stand up for yourselves. You could change things for so many other people just like you who may not have the courage to do it for themselves. I haven't read anything about your girlfriend. How has she been affected by all this? Her parents don't want her to be talked about publicly, so I and the ACLU have respected that. Was it difficult growing up gay in small town Mississippi? I really didn't have a problem being gay. It's mostly gay guys who get the most mean stuff directed at them. Fulton is a small town. Nobody harassed me until this case, but then it was insane. They would call me and say mean things and text me saying that I didn't deserve to go to that school and no one ever liked me, which I knew wasn't true. It was just really hard. What was it like coming out? I realized I liked girls in fifth grade. It was easy coming out. My parents and friends were supportive. Do books play a big role in your life? Yes they do! I have read a ton of books. They help me escape reality. I love reading fantasy and romance books, and books about lesbians, and civil rights stories. Who are some of your favorite authors? I don't know-I don't really have favorite authors. I just like certain books. What have you learned from this whole thing? It has had a huge impact on me. I have learned how strong I could be and how important it is to stand up and do something for a cause you believe in. What advice do you have for gay teens today, both those who have come out and who are scared to come out? Diversity is what makes the world so interesting and beautiful. If we hide what's different about us the world will be ugly and gray. You should embrace who you are and what you believe in and help others to understand and learn tolerance for people different than you. What message do you have for school officials, parents, and teachers about gay teens? We are not going to ruin your children! It's not contagious! If your child is gay, doing things to try to stop them is not going to do anything but make them hate you and lie about who they are. There are so many kids who kill themselves because they feel so alone and ashamed of what they feel. Parents and teachers should think about that before they make an action. My grandma always says if you don't change with your kids you will lose them altogether. Are you planning to attend college? Right now I plan to go to Southwest Community College for two years and then the University of Southern Mississippi for four years, and I'd like to go to graduate school in southern California. I hope to get a PhD in psychology specializing in LGBT issues. Thanks, SLJ, for following up on this story! It is refreshing to read about Constance's courage and her town's better-late-than-never courage, as well. Thanks for bringing this story to the front lines. Constance is a strong individual who already has begun to make a change. As librarians, many of us struggle with including LGBT materials, especially if our patrons are younger. We are often dealing with an academic community that prefers to avoid controversy or a community and faculty who has members strongly against including LGBT literature. Every time I make a decision about these materials I am wondering about the students like Constance and others who are keeping their thoughts and feelings private for a multitude of reasons. I wonder if we are promoting an atmosphere of intolerance by not allowing any student, regardless of their preference, to read freely about these issues and about people who may be facing dilemmas or discrimination. I was touched by Constance's comment about her librarian. It reminds me that it is our task to include everyone and create for them a place without judgment, regardless of how we feel personally. It is hard swim against the tide - even dangerous, but worth the effort. * = Required information
Reader Comments (3)
Posted by E. Foreman on August 10, 2010 04:10:08PM
Posted by L. Morgan on August 10, 2010 06:00:57PM
Posted by Jean Collier on August 12, 2010 05:46:08PM
