The Downside of Being Up

Gr 6—8—Eighth-grader Bobby Connor considers himself a normal kid, "not a dork, a jock, a brain, a freak or a perv." But he has a problem: "I have absolutely no control over what goes on in my pants. I get eighteen boners a day. Literally." And since middle-school students are not usually known for sensitivity to others, it is understandable that Bobby's erection in math class has many consequences: a permanent source of torment, a career-ending accident for the teacher, and the choice between either "correctional erectional analysis" or expulsion from school. When the new math teacher arrives with his daughter, Allison, she becomes the only normal character in Bobby's otherwise dysfunctional world-in spite of her father's dislike of him. Bobby's narration is likely to appeal to adolescent boys who might find his dilemma and the gross habits of a neighbor and Bobby's grandfather humorous. However, readers are likely to tire of the repetition (after all, how many synonyms for an erection or a penis can one chuckle over?). Not surprisingly, Bobby's parents and grandfather, as well as the other adults portrayed, have issues with sexuality and with interpersonal relationships, including Bobby's therapist. The conclusion is mercifully swift, and it is pat. While emerging sexuality is a real issue for young people, puberty, sexuality, and emotional turmoil are presented here in the flippant, tedious tone of a repeated joke that quickly wears thin.—Maria B. Salvadore, formerly at Washington DC Public Library